Training for Battle, Pt. 1 – This means War!

Psalm 144:1-2 Give praise to the Lord, my Rock!

He trains my hands for war. He trains my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and is like a fort to me. He is my place of safety and the God who saves me. In my lifetime, I have never sensed the raw terrors of ‘in the trenches, hand-to-hand combat’ war, and thanks to our Nation’s armed forces – from the first Continental Army to the brave women & men fighting for our freedom today, I pray that I and my children never taste that in our homeland. Mighty warriors come to my mind, like my good friends Rob and Jesse, who have each taken major blows to themselves in battle situations on my behalf, and I feel that my bravery and strength pale in comparison to theirs. Listening to their stories of courage and the personal demons they have wrestled, I am in awe of the incredible gifting they carry today, having faced those difficult times and coming through as amazing examples of what a man should be in today’s society. America has it all wrong of who our true heroes really are. However, at this point in my life, a battle has come to my family’s doorstep. This is not a battle I can win with my physical strength or my wit, but will require my thoughts and emotions to be fiercely honed in order to combat the enemy that has broken through our gates and is ravaging around within my city. Needless to say, this makes me feel helpless! On May 20th, 2015, our lives would go from a time of uncertain peace to all-out war – Following an odd discovery during a routine self-examination & a barrage of tests over the next month, the miracle of science has found what no mammogram or ultrasound could confirm – a 10 cm. non-mass tumor has taken hold in my gorgeous wife’s very lovely breast. I cannot describe to you how angry I was to get the news, or how helpless I feel in knowing how to fight this. I suffer from the malady of every husband – my wife has a challenge, and I just want to go in and fix it! But, short of a miracle, there is no ‘fixing’ this cancer; I need to trust in our Father God, the skills he has given our medical community, and the volumes of research that have gone into enabling the level of treatment we have today.

So, here we are, seven weeks later, and we still don’t have a solid grasp on what we are facing here. We know that Julie has ‘invasive lobular carcinoma’ in her right breast and at least one lymph, but insurance has been dragging their feet to approve the next round of tests that will determine if this has metastasized elsewhere else in her body. We need those tests to come through, in order to know how the first phase of treatment will be delivered – will it be a mastectomy? Will she start off with chemo? Needless to say, she will be missing out on our hike through the Enchantments in August, but right now, that seems so very far off and unimportant, compared to what we are facing.

And so we wait, not wanting to know, but definitely wanting to face the army in front of us. While on the stair climber at the gym this morning, Psalm 144 was running through my head, “He trains my hands for war... He trains my fingers for battle...”, over and over. I was imagining what this looks like. When I first got the news, my inner rage began with ‘Why now?!?’ 2015 has been the year from hell so far! Can’t we get a break? My thoughts then turned to ‘Why her?!?’ The odds of a woman getting this is only one in ten; why would she get it? And finally, ‘Why me?!?’ I’ve already fought cancer and lost miserably. I figured all of the work I have done since losing my brother David to cancer in 1987 – working tirelessly with the ACS to raise funds for cancer research might have earned me a lifetime reprieve from having to ever face it again. But alas, here it is, and I am being pulled right back to that point that I was as a scared fifteen-year-old, feeling all of those emotions of loss all over again.

Right at that moment, the thought came to me – “Why not you”? Who better to face this than one who has had his hands trained for war? Julie & I used to do trail clearing in the summer for our fall hunting adventures, in order to put the sneak on any animals we might come across without crashing through the brush. After swinging a machete for several hours along a game trail on my buddy’s property one day, I found that I couldn’t open my hand – my fingers were cleaving to the hilt of the blade. I needed my fingers to be trained for battle! The Israelites knew their enemy, and they leaned on their God to teach them to war! Can you imagine what strength King David must have felt in his hand, fighting battle after battle with a sword? In this war against cancer, my ‘arms’ have been trained to know my enemy; my ‘fingers’ have been honed for strength on understanding the covert opportunities. I know how to fight this battle, so bring it on! ‘We got this!’

Images of the Israelite battle scenes raced through my mind this morning as I climbed my way to the ceiling, one rotating step at a time. I saw King David, standing on a prominitory, with his army behind him. Far off across the valley, they could see the rising duststorm being driven by the enemy army that was rapidly approaching. They could not see the size or the numbers in that garrison, but they knew the raw fury of what they were facing. I saw David repeating this phrase, over and over, rising in a crescendo that his Mighty Men began to chant with him, until it became a war cry – “He trains my hands for war... He trains my fingers for battle...”! Friends – this is my war cry, and while I don’t feel prepared to face the entire war right now, I am ready to enter the skirmish of this first battle. I don’t have all the facts, but I know who my Redeemer is.

My wife is doing the heavy lifting – she’s the one that has to endure all the procedures and undergo the humiliation of losing a major part of her womanhood. My role is to stand guard and fight the enemy on his turf. The battle against sickness was already completed on the Cross; I just need to walk forward in faith and stand on the promises of the Word, knowing that Christ will be beside us all the way as we kick cancer to the curb! No turning back; my family is moving forward – running down the hill to meet the enemy with the war cry on our tongues! As I finished my time on the stair climber, my battle cry had turned into the song ‘This Means War’ by Petra. Nothing like an ‘80s Christian hair band to solidify the battle plan in my head, right? Moving out, locked & loaded.

P.S. – as I was finishing this entry, an important phonecall just came in from the front lines, with news about the first battle. Losing my job in April, I also lost my premier Healthcare plan (more about that in an upcoming post!). Under the alternate plan we have today, we were looking at the good possibility of over a hundred thousand dollars in out-of-pocket expenses. However, we were just informed that we now qualify for financial aid. While it needs to be approved, we are standing in faith that the vast majority of these expenses will be covered! Now, we need to focus on the important things, getting our home to a place that it will be a clean, healthy haven for Julie to feel safe, loved and cared for as she fights for her life. There are many more skirmishes & battle situations to be faced in this war, but I know He has plans for every one of them. Furthermore, He has gone before us, and knows every footstep through this battlefield. As long as we follow His step, we can’t lose this!

Questions for you, the reader:

1) What battles are you facing today?

2) Do you see any patterns developing in the middle of it all?

3) How can you use these experiences today to hone your battle skills for war?

#Matt #KingDavid